Three weeks.
I’m still running.
More importantly, I’m still training.
This may not sound particularly revolutionary, but for me, it is.
Three weeks ago I decided it was time to get moving again. I wrote about starting Couch to 5K, about losing weight, getting fitter and generally trying to put myself back together a little bit.
That was the easy bit.
The difficult bit is still doing it three weeks later.
And, somehow, I am.
Still going
There’s something very different about week three.
Week one is exciting.
You’ve made the decision. You’ve got the trainers out. You feel motivated. You start imagining yourself several months down the line, effortlessly knocking out 10Ks with a beautifully sculpted body and the serene expression of someone who actually enjoys running.
Then reality arrives.
Week two reminds you that your legs are not particularly interested in your ambitions.
By week three, you’re no longer excited about the new beginning.
You’re just getting on with it.
And perhaps that’s where the real progress starts.
I’m still going.
I’m still getting the sessions done.
I’m still putting the trainers on when I don’t particularly feel like it.
I’m still trying to make better choices with food.
And I’m still trying to lose the weight I’ve accumulated over the years.
Nothing dramatic.
No transformation montage.
Just turning up.
Again.
And again.
And again.
I’ve done this before
That’s probably the strange thing about it.
I’ve been here before.
I’ve trained for an Ironman.
I’ve been fitter than I am now.
I’ve run further than I can currently imagine running.
I’ve experienced that feeling of your body adapting to something that initially seemed impossible.
So I know the process works.
I also know how easy it is to stop.
That’s the bit I’m trying to change.
I’m not interested in having another period where I train hard, get fit, achieve something and then gradually drift back to where I started.
This time I’m trying to build something that lasts.
Training isn’t something I’m doing for an event.
It’s becoming something I’m doing because I want to feel better.
Physically.
Mentally.
Generally.
And then life happens
While I’ve been concentrating on getting myself moving again, there’s been a rather bigger change happening at home.
Isaac is getting ready to leave for university.
He’s heading to Nottingham to study photography.
And I’m ridiculously proud of him.
It feels like only yesterday he was a little lad.
Now he’s packing up his life and heading off to university to study something he genuinely loves.
That’s a pretty big deal.
For him.
And for me.
I’m excited for him.
I really am.
He’s going to meet new people, experience new things and start building his own life.
That’s what you want for your kids.
But there’s also a little voice in the back of my head saying:
“Hang on. You’re not supposed to grow up this quickly.”
Apparently nobody told him.
The empty bedroom
I think the bit I’m going to find hardest is the quiet.
The house is going to feel different.
There’s something strange about watching your children become independent.
For years, your job is to make sure they’re okay.
You worry about them.
You nag them.
You give advice they didn’t ask for.
You make sure they’ve eaten.
You make sure they’re home.
Then suddenly you’re expected to trust that you’ve done enough.
And they’re off.
Isaac is going to Nottingham with his camera and a whole new adventure ahead of him.
I’ll be here with my running shoes and whatever adventure comes next for me.
And perhaps that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Still going
Three weeks into this, I’m not going to pretend everything has changed.
It hasn’t.
I’m still carrying too much weight.
I’m still not as fit as I’d like to be.
There are still days when motivation is nowhere to be found.
And there are still plenty of opportunities for me to choose the sofa over the trainers.
But I’m still going.
That’s the important bit.
I’m learning to appreciate the boring stuff.
The sessions that don’t feel amazing.
The run where your legs feel heavy.
The day when you don’t particularly want to train but you do it anyway.
Because those are the sessions that build something.
Not just fitness.
Habit.
And perhaps even a little confidence.
Three weeks isn’t much
Three weeks isn’t a huge amount of time.
It’s not enough to transform your body.
It’s not enough to rewrite your life.
But it’s long enough to prove one thing.
I can still start something and keep doing it.
And right now, that’s enough.
Isaac is starting his next chapter.
I’m starting mine.
He’s heading to Nottingham.
I’m heading out running.
He’s got a camera.
I’ve got trainers.
He’s going to capture moments.
I’m trying to create some new ones.
And maybe that’s what this stage of life is about.
Not trying to recreate what I’ve done before.
Not trying to become the person I was ten years ago.
Just working out who I am now.
And where I want to go next.
Three weeks down.
Still training.
Still running.
Still trying.
Still going.
