I’ve spent a lot of time over the years trying to work out why I keep ending up back at the start.
Train hard.
Lose a bit of weight.
Get injured.
Stop.
Start again.
Repeat.
It’s frustrating because every restart feels like you’re climbing the same mountain, except someone has made it a little steeper.
The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realised I’ve been trying to build something while leaving out one of the foundations.
Triathlon, at least for me, has three pillars.
Strength and conditioning.
Swimming, cycling and running.
Diet.
I’ve tried just focusing on the swim, bike and run. It didn’t work.
I’ve tried ignoring strength work because, if I’m honest, it’s the least exciting part. That didn’t work either. My body eventually found a creative way of telling me I’d made a mistake.
And I’ve always convinced myself that I could out-train my diet.
Spoiler alert…
I couldn’t.
This time, I’m not trying to be clever. I’m trying to be consistent.
Strength and conditioning to build a body that can cope.
Swimming, cycling and running to build the engine.
Diet to stop sabotaging everything else.
The nutrition side is probably the biggest change. I’ve signed up to MacroFactor, which is basically calorie tracking with AI. Instead of sticking to rigid calorie targets, it learns how your body responds and adjusts as you go.
The recommendation came from my lad. He’s into bodybuilding and swears by it. He’s achieved results that speak for themselves, so for around £60 a year it feels like a worthwhile investment if it helps me finally crack this piece of the puzzle.
As I was writing this, something else struck me.
Living with bipolar isn’t all that different.
For years I wanted there to be one answer.
Maybe it was just the medication.
Maybe it was just exercise.
Maybe it was just therapy.
Maybe it was simply trying harder.
But bipolar doesn’t really work like that.
My own mental health has its own three pillars.
Medication keeps the chemistry pointing in the right direction.
Exercise gives my mind somewhere healthy to burn off energy and frustration.
Diet and routine keep everything else from wobbling quite so much.
Remove one pillar, and the whole thing starts to lean.
Ignore two, and eventually something gives way.
I’m beginning to think that’s true of life in general.
We spend so much time looking for the silver bullet that we forget most things are built on solid foundations, repeated day after day.
So here I am.
Not starting with an Ironman.
Not chasing impossible targets.
Not trying to make up for lost time.
I’m going back to where it all began.
Couch to 5K.
There’s something wonderfully humbling about admitting you need to start again. The ego takes a knock, but maybe that’s healthy. Every runner, every cyclist, every triathlete has had a first session.
This is mine.
Again.
Only this time, I’m bringing all three pillars with me.
Let’s see where they can take me…
