It’s 99% Psychological

So today at 06:05 I stood on the scales and realised the magnitude of the task ahead of me. The, what I can only describe as abuse that I have put my body through since Christmas has become apparent. I knew I was carrying extra weight, but I had been putting off weighing in for a while. 

So, the damage was a total of 4st put back on. I knew it would be bad, but didn’t know it would be this bad. I feel gutted, I feel like it is all unraveling at the seams. It’s got so bad I don’t want to use my wetsuit tomorrow for fear of splitting it. 

How did it get so bad, well the past two weeks I have been on a binge to be honest. It was the usual pattern; feeling low, getting down and numbing this pain with bad food and drink. The usual pattern. It culminated with last Thursday me having a big anxiety attack. It was so bad I had to call my Psychiatrist at the hospital for help. The result was to up my emergency meds, which I took and helped me a lot. 

But it’s not just as simple as what I put into my body. It’s what I do with it. For the past few weeks I have been neglecting my training. I’ve simply not been training. Yeah, I’ve done a couple of time trials but only about 50% of what I had planned has been achieved. This is a double whammy as I feel low, so don’t train, then feel bad for missing training. 

Well this is a crisis point. I went for a run tonight. I felt huge, sluggish and hate this feeling. Question is what do I do? Well I do have a plan. I am going to join a friend and sign up for Isagenics I’m going to give it my all. The feeling of how I felt like today will push me on. Isagenics is a meal replacement shake system where you have two shakes a day and then. 600kcal meal at night. 

Let’s see where this goes…