The one where Lockdown 3.0 nearly broke me

So one of the things I promised myself when I started this blog was that it would be a warts and all account of my journey. Throughout the lockdown(s) I tried to stay as positive as possible, lockdown 1.0 I was focussed and in the zone. During lockdown 2 things started to come unstuck and lockdown 3.0 tried to tear all the hard work apart.

There has been a recurring theme over the past few months; my emotional eating has been getting worse. In LD2.0 I couldn’t swim or see my family or friends. Now, I know it was the same for everyone it really hit me, coupled with the dark evenings and cold weather it made for bad moods. What did I do to deal with the bad mood; I ate junk. This led to me putting half a stone on. Then came LD3.0. It really hit me.

I never saw this lockdown coming if I’m honest. So much so, that the day before it was announced I placed an order for a wetsuit and winter swimming kit. I thought The gym may shut but at least I had the ability to swim outside; or so I thought. All this knowing I needed to train hard for my first IronMan 70.3 in May.

This sucked on so many different levels. I had only been swimming 5 months and was quite a way off doing the event in May. That said I bought some swim bands and looked into every option available including, but not limited to a tethered pool in the garden. I’m the end we realised I was perhaps behaving manically again.

I focussed on the training logging multiple runs, rides, strength and conditioning and swim band sessions averaging 11 hours a week. All the time knowing deep down I was wasting my time as it’d likely be a cancelled event. I cannot get across how much this crushed my spirits. So what did I do; I ate. I ate to the point I put another stone in weight back on.

My weekly weigh ins have become quite an anxiety raising affair. So much so, I trigger off a vicious circle. 1) weigh more 2) feel low 3) eat more 4) try and out-train the bad diet and so it goes.

It got so bad, the low moods were really dragging me down. I ended up calling the hospital and having my meds changed to a stronger dose. Since then I only ate junk once, but of course I had the Easter bunny to torment me! So this weekend was a weight disaster again.

That said, I have been feeling more positive. My Ironman has been cancelled, so that pressure has been taken away. The meds are starting to kick in and I feel a lot better. Oh, and I can now swim again.

The outdoor Lido in Matlock Bath is open again. So my wetsuit I bought came in. The swimming in the pool is quite tricky though. The pool is longer than the gym and the water isn’t heated, so it takes your breath away. I find the breathing difficult at the best of times, but I love it. Just need to get used to it. Also, I found out I can start swim lessons again Monday.

so what do I do now? I focus on the Outlaw X 70.3 (half Ironman) in September. But first I need to shed some weight. I think I need to get to 14 stone mark before June. Final roll of the dice I think.