When your down on the mood elevator

Sometimes with mental health you get a reminder that things can go bad quite quickly at any time, or well at least you can in my case.  A couple of weeks ago I started feeling bad again, getting stressed, confused, irritable and generally not feeling well.  My worse thing that I do is Ruminate over the same issue obsessively – even if I cannot solve the issue which begins a downward cycle.  I somehow – as I don’t know how, but I managed to continue my training.  However a small hiccup occurred with my meds affecting my training.  I have been training on time and Heartrate for my runs and cycles.  However last week I took my emergency meds again.

On Sunday I went out for a long ride (that was in my plan) and had great difficulty actually getting myself motivated to leave the house.  I woke up at 06:00 and planned to do an early ride, I got up then got back into bed until 09:30 – it finally took me until half 12 to drag my ass out of the door.  My runs were the same during the week, I had little interest in completing them.  While on my ride, which was to be 1hr 28m I was due to run at z2 heartrate.  Well I went out and immediately noticed my heartrate was low compared to my perceived exertion.  I did manage to hit z2 a few times, but had to bury myself to get there, which seemed really odd.  I thought I must be having monitor issues again and didn’t bother riding to my HR for the rest of the route.  It was only when I got home and I was talking to Zoe I realised my emergency meds my be having some effect.  I checked the small print you get with tablets and it said it will slow heartrate!  Blimey!

I also had a counselling session on the Thursday which helped a lot, the Friday I called the hospital and they gave me an appointment with one of the doctors there and made a follow on appointment with Dr Smith on the following Tuesday.  Talking to Dr Smith was good, I got a lot out of the session – I also have had a tweak to my daily meds and been advised to come off the Emergency Med.  However I am still waiting for the prescription to arrive for the new dosage of my tablets.

I took this selfie out on my run the other day – I thought it captured quite well my mood at the time. But today is a new day and I’m feeling a lot better I’m pleased to say.