The past few weeks I’ve been busy running. I’ve been stomping the streets of barrow and Derby. I’m now up to 8.5km, but I am really struggling with time management.
As I’m away 3 or 4 days a week I’m cramming my socialising in to the weekends and I find I’m ridiculously busy. I’m a social being and love spending time with my friends but something has to give…
Mentally I’m starting to struggle and feel burned out. Linda is not very well and it’s starting to take its toll on me. The worse day I have had was my birthday. My actual birthday! The night before we had an 80s night and it was fab. But the night after (the day of my birthday). I was surrounded by friends, but I’d never felt so lonely.
I had been for a meal but my head was spinning, I couldn’t get out of the restaurant quickly enough. I knew I needed my emergency meds so I needed to get home. I didn’t know why, but I had the urge to walk home. This took me through some of the worse areas of Derby en route but I needed to clear my head.
When I got home I took my meds and felt better really quickly. All this period of down time coincided with an incident at work which meant we had to work from home. I felt triggered. It reminded me of Covid times. I knew I needed to get back in.
Fortunately work were very good and within a couple of weeks I was back in an office. not my actual office but served as a temporary one while we awaited getting back into our home.
They say it’s ok to not be ok. But sometimes you still feel a burden to folk. I’ve started some specialist counselling I’ve been waiting for all year since January 24. I’m sure I’ll pick up soon.
Bipolar Ironman 